April 2005


Uncategorized28 Apr 2005 09:29 am
Sisters
The love between my girls is so inspiring to me. They are so loving and dear with each other my heart bursts watching them together. Their touch is so gentle and loving. It’s pure, platonic and exquisite.

Yesterday, I was visiting one of my dearest friends. She was in need of some nurturing so I asked her if she wanted me to hold her. She curled her petite body up on my lap, laid her head on my breasts and cried. And cried. I kissed her head and held her as I would one of my children. Tears streamed down my own cheeks at the intimacy and the release of love and pain.

Last night at a parent meeting, the woman next to me bravely stood up and reminded the parents that we need to approach a critical issue with compassion for our children rather than getting tied up in the logistics. When she sat down, I reached my hand out to her and rubbed her back in support. She began to cry and I had another opportunity to hold a sister while her tears flowed.

A single friend of mine related how fleeting touch is in his life and how a single, heartfelt hug had a huge impact on him. I wish I saw him more often so I could just hold him and show him how much he’s loved. We all need this kind of connection.

At an Original Play workshop I attended, O. Fred Donaldson spoke of our basic need for touch. He related that he coaches people in corporations to remember to touch. Just a hand on the shoulder, a shake of the hand, finding a way for fingers to touch when handing someone a pen can help us remember our connection with one another and help ease the tension of modern life.

It’s easy for touch to get tied up with sex. It’s easy for heart-felt loving connection to be confused with romance. I am learning the value of being present as a sister rather than a lover to the world. It feels good right now to explore touch in new ways. Sometimes, I want to find a comfortable chair, put it on a street corner and just open my arms for the people on the street who need a lap to sit on and who just need to be held for awhile. One thing I’m learning as I begin to love my lush, strong, warm body a bit more is that it was a body made to love people. I’m learning how to extend this love beyond my children or my lovers.

We are all sisters and brothers. We’re cut from the same cloth and have the same basic needs. I am beginning to see that loving touch can extend beyond sexuality, beyond family bonds, beyond social boundaries. We can hold each other, hug each other and honor the tears that will inevitably flow when we feel the love we have for one another.

May we all remember to honor our need to give and receive loving touch.
Uncategorized22 Apr 2005 09:53 pm

Uncategorized22 Apr 2005 07:44 pm
Held in Compassion
Held in Compassion
I just stepped on this bee. I said, “F-ing thing! Get off me!”, and kicked it away. As the pain faded away, I watched the poor bee convulsing as it died. I’m still alive. It is dying. Yes, I am the one who stepped on it. It was no one’s fault. It just happened. I placed it in a soft, pink tulip to rest and cried.

I have done this with my children before as it was done to me many times. Exploded, yelled sometimes, sadly, even cursed at them when it wasn’t their fault. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. It just happened. Fortunately, these times are much fewer and more far between these days. Because I’ve learned how tender I am. I’ve learned to honor my small, pink, fragile, tender self who needs love and compassion. By opening to this part, I have learned my true strength. I don’t have to be tough. I don’t have to be hard on myself or others.

I just need to love. That’s all it takes to find our way to wholeness. Just love.

May we all find more and more ways to be gentle with ourselves and honor our most tender parts.
Uncategorized19 Apr 2005 04:01 pm
Merging

I taste God in my lover’s mouth
In the thrust of him
I feel the force of creation
In the release
Our souls merge
Divine Union

this is an audio post - click to play
Uncategorized17 Apr 2005 06:19 pm
Resting Turtle for Photo Friday
A turtle rests in the spring sunshine today at the Japanese Garden in Seattle, WA

Peeking
Giovanna didn’t rest at all. She was busy as a toddler should be.

Coi
A beautiful Coi posed nicely for the camera.

Fairie Flowers
If I were a Fairie I would rest on the moss ‘neath these beautiful flowers. So lovely.

Uncategorized14 Apr 2005 11:23 pm
Metamorphosis

Integrating
the fragments
of my inner being
embracing wholeness
seeking
truth

Uncategorized12 Apr 2005 02:04 pm
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I felt very intimidated by this challenge. Still honing my skills with no formal training means letting go. This seems to be a theme in my life. So I did. I let go of needing it to look a certain way. I did it quick and stopped beating myself up. I decided part of the letting go process was to position it as on open hand. We can’t hold on tight to something with an open hand. It can rest there gently, free to go if it needs to. I’m trying to apply this principle to my life. Judgement feels like a white-knuckled fist to me. Compassion is held in my open heart with my palms open. No belief, thought, being or weapon held tightly. Just love, freedom and grace.

I have a friend who was being charged by a herd of Rhinos in Africa. There was no place to hide and no weapon to draw. My friend stood in front of his group with his arms, palms and heart open like Saint Francis would have done. The wild rhinos stopped just short of this group of unarmed people, looked at them for a few minutes then walked away. Love is a powerful thing.


May we all keep our palms and hearts open like Saint Francis of Assisi and may we remember that compassion starts from within – with loving ourselves.

Uncategorized11 Apr 2005 07:17 pm
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When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes:

To love more,
And be happy.

Take the sounds from the mouth-flute of Hafiz
And mix them into your seed pouch.

And when the Moon says,
“It is time to
Plant,”

Why not dance,
Dance and
Sing?

(Excerpted from “Your Seed Pouch” by Hafiz/Landinsky)

My husband and I are getting a divorce. It has been a long, slow process of separation for which my Spirit has been calling for a long time. When I was dancing to “Express Yourself” by Salt-n-Pepa today, my 39th birthday, I felt this sense of freedom and lightness and knew immediately how I could illustrate the topic “Alone”. I’m so ready to embark on this new leg of my journey.

May we all listen to the song in our hearts and find the courage to dance alone.

Uncategorized08 Apr 2005 01:23 pm
This is my daughters’ plastic horse which was given to them by my Mom. They love her and bring her oats and water. It’s very dear. I had a real horse that looked very much like her when I was a girl. Her name was “Lady” and she was both my best friend and my guardian angel. She visited me in the dreamtime recently and I felt such a sense of peace when I awakened. I am very blessed to have touched spirits with such a lovely being.
Uncategorized06 Apr 2005 08:40 pm

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

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