Uncategorized06 May 2005 11:12 pm
“There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” -Rumi
May 2005
Uncategorized06 May 2005 07:16 pm
Pan
I’m going to see The Rite of Luna tomorrow night at the Richard Hugo House with my friend Betsy. Aleister Crowley’s Rites of Eleusis is a series of seven passion plays, and The Rite of Luna is the final installment. I’m not a follower of his work but the oracular cards in my Aleister Crowley Thoth Tarot deck are my favorite to work with. I’ve been using tarot cards for many years as a way to deepen into messages from my many spirit guides. Whether it’s seeing an animal, plant or stone that has a message for me, receiving a call from a friend at just the right moment or interpreting the meaning of the rich images of the Tarot, I feel the presence of my guides with me illuminating my path. Since I started paying attention, my life has deeper meaning and is finally becoming my own.
Some people would say it’s evil to use tarot cards or believe astrology is “devil’s work”. This is how I was raised. It’s so funny to me how much I used to believe in things like “the devil” and “evil” or believed that “God” was some kind of puppeteer/Daddy figure in the sky that was outside of me. What a horrible feeling that was! I lived in fear and never felt like there was room for me to make mistakes. I was constantly asking forgiveness for “sins” and always sought approval outside myself. No wonder it has taken me so long to learn to love myself and just feel okay about life.
I love to watch my children make their own choices in their lives and live from their hearts. They don’t get punished for mistakes and their choices are not motivated by fear as mine often were. They are honest and open and I trust them because there’s no reason not to. They don’t need “hellfire and damnation” to make good choices. They only need to remember to love themselves enough to listen to their inner voice. And they do. I feel so aligned with All That Is and so trusting that Life is here now that I have let go of judgement in its myriad forms. And it is so beautiful.
May we all be motivated to choose Life and Love rather than fear. May we understand that the attainment of merging with Divinity is in the here and now if we choose to heed the messages all around us.
Uncategorized03 May 2005 02:24 pm
“And we are put on earth a little space,
That we may learn to bear the beams of love.”
-William Blake
One of my friends recently stopped communicating with me out of the blue. I intuitively felt something was going on so I asked him why he was so quiet. He replied back telling me that he was “overwhelmed by the emails of adulation” that I had sent him. I’m pretty effusive in general and I have had a practice recently of celebrating what I want to see more of in my life. I talk about what I love about someone, I tell people how beautiful they are and how dear they are to me. I “Magnify Magnificence” as SARK suggests.
I have a lot of love to give. But not everyone is ready to receive it. I have so much compassion for that. Sometimes it’s hard for me to feel worthy of love. I can be so hard on myself that I wonder why anyone would feel that way about me. And then I question if they really do. I ask myself, “What do they want?” or doubt their sincerity. So much negativity can get batted around in my head that I feel like I’m going insane. And I wilt when my friends look at me with their loving eyes or want to hold me when I’m sad. It becomes easier to give love than to receive it. But that is slowly changing. I am worthy. I do want love and I trust more often. I have better boundaries and don’t over give now. I’ve learned that I’m lovable no matter what. No matter what I do or even if I don’t do anything. I’m lovable just as I am.
As I open my heart to true, unconditional, unfettered love, I’ve begun to notice people who can freely receive it and to notice when people can’t. Adults have a much harder time with it than children. My toddler just drinks in every ounce. She fully expects everyone to love her. She also freely gives love to everyone even inanimate objects like her teddy bear. No expectations; just love. She can hold my loving gaze in ways that my nine year-old has forgotten to. She asks for hugs when she’s lonely or needs some touch. She knows what she needs and knows how to get it. I guess this is because she’s really never been denied love. She trusts.
I believe we can all get back to that place of trusting that we deserve love. I think it has start with finding what’s lovable about ourselves. I’m going to go make a list of all the things I love the most about myself and post it here. I hope you’ll join me.
May we all remember that Love is what we are and let it flow to and through us.