I have been highly inspired by SARK’s inspiration line and wanted to create one of my own. I want to find more and more ways of spreading love and joy in the world so here it is.
It’s updated daily and I’m having fun with it. 
do not ponder the end.
healing is not an ending…
it is our daily practice.
See his documentary here. You will be forever changed. I am in awe of this man and of humanity when I see his work.
He says his passion is “knowing the human soul”. I love that.
When I probe into the tangled questions in my heart and examine the underbelly of it all, I feel like I cannot bear to look anymore. I feel like I cannot breathe.
Then a friend comes a long and tells me how brave I am and how much I inspire her or how much she loves the messes and I remember that I am loved and lovable and I look forward into my life with hope, eager to expose the silences and the screams.
This is why we need each other. To remember and see ourselves anew.
This is the gift of compassion and love.
I walked quietly
through the gate
and happened
upon a mourning dove
Alas, I scared her away
She,
wild creature
waited warily
but patiently
until it was safe to return
I, keeping my distance,
wanting her to know
I meant no harm
and return she did!
Some random thoughts from my journal on 7/17/07:
The ego scrambles
The Spirit saunters (and soars!)
The ego contracts
The Spirit expands
The ego schemes
The Spirit trusts
The ego exists
The Spirit creates
The ego copes
The Spirit thrives
The ego questions
The Spirit trusts
The ego fears
The Spirit Loves
I have discovered that loving people and fixing them are two very different things.
I am so happy to have had this realization.
I just woke up from a dream. In this dream, many things happened. I didn’t know who I could trust. Everywhere I turned, someone was betraying me or trying to take something from me. I ran away from my house, leaving the doors wide open. I didn’t know where my children were, I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t know how I was going to get there. I wanted to get in my van and drive but someone was in it and almost hit me with it so I ran.
I ran and I ran.
I came upon people who were trying to convince me of something. They had a long, elaborate story about the nature of things and a big conspiracy. They had pamphlets and illustrations. It began to feel unsafe so I ran away. They followed me.
I ran and I ran.
I found myself in a room with two men on either side of me. They both had disguises on and I thought they were holding me there. I felt that I was being forced to watch something and to be shown why the last group of people were wrong. I decided that I had had enough of being told how things were going to be. I got up and looked into the eyes of one of the men. I said, “I am leaving. It’s too bad you were trying to capture me because I really wanted to fuck you.” He replied, “It is too bad because I really wanted to fuck you too and then I wanted to hold you and cherish you.”
Then it became clear to me that these people loved me. ALL of the people had loved me. I saw that it had all been a game–an illusion–and that there was nothing to fear and nowhere to go. I realized that no matter where I went, I would be safe and the people around me were always there to love me even if it didn’t always seem like it. I felt a bit foolish but very peaceful and very loved.
As I stood there, no longer running, and gazed at the beauty and grace of it all, everything began to turn into beautiful, shimmering particles of light and swirl around into a beautiful spiral.
And then I woke up.
Or did I go back to sleep?
She is emerging
again.
She has tried many times
only to be drowned out by the bullies.
She has something to say, this one.
She sees right through all the hypocrisy
to the core–the essence.
She has no tolerance for the pretending
that goes on and on and on
it makes her feel scared and very alone.
This shimmering, vulnerable (yet strong) child
is coming back
in full force.
She will not be shushed.
She will not be ignored.
She WILL be cared for, heard, seen and honored.
Above all, she is loved.
be·nevi·o·lence /bəˈnɛ vahy-uh-luhns/
–noun
1. desire to do harm to others and make one’s point while appearing to exhibit goodwill or charitableness.
2. an act of passive-aggressive violence all prettied up with politically correct or “spiritual” words.
After reading an email I received from someone today, John coined this clever term. I have been on both the giving and receiving ends of this and it feels pretty shitty. It’s interesting how often we think we are saving face when, in reality, the people in our lives feel or “hear” with their intuition, the violence and aggressiveness underneath it all.
Let’s stop pretending to be benevolent or “spiritual” and be real. I think we’ll get a lot further along on our spiritual paths that way. I know I will.